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Aug 27, 2016 22:07:04 GMT
Post by Casey Jaimison Foster on Aug 27, 2016 22:07:04 GMT
Casey had no idea what was going on, and it was stressing him out. Evan had been acting weird, and he was definitely worried about her... wondering what it was that she wasn't coming right out and saying. He could respect her privacy, but saying that it was a family thing or a private thing was better than saying nothing. His own imagination was probably coming up with scenarios a lot worse than the actual problem.
And so he'd been waiting for her to decide to come to him, ready to take on whatever it was. And he had no idea what it was, but he really didn't think it was anything close to the truth. She'd asked him to meet in the park and so he was sitting in the park, waiting for her arrival. Waiting was agony. His feet were planted firmly on the ground and his eyes were on his phone, rereading the messages he'd gotten from his girlfriend recently. Maybe he'd misinterpreted something. Maybe there was something obvious he just wasn't getting. It wasn't like her to leave him wondering.
When she approached, he put his phone away immediately and put his head up, making eye contact and grinning slightly-- it wasn't in any way a forced grin, but it wasn't entirely sincere either. He was still worried... he knew something was wrong.
"Hey, Evan," he greeted, standing up and looking her over quickly, trying to receive a clue-- anything that would make her intentions apparent.
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Sixteen.
Primrose Student
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Heterosexual.
In a Relationship.
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Aug 27, 2016 22:25:01 GMT
Post by Evangeline Maxine Charbonneau on Aug 27, 2016 22:25:01 GMT
[googlefont="Playfair Display"][googlefont="Alice"] he knows the dirty secrets that i keep does he know it's killing me?
There was no part of her that was happy this had to happen. That she was going to gleefully skip down the cobblestones to smash her boyfriend’s heart into a thousand pieces and then go right back to being curled up with Aden like nothing was wrong. She walked down the street, her hands deep in her pockets and she tried to come up with something better than the standard ‘it’s not you, it’s me.’ She felt sick and she knew that her brother was right and the sooner she did this the sooner it would be over. She and Aden could figure out what they were to each other and Casey would be able to find someone who truly deserved such a pure soul like him.
She spotted the wild curls and for a second forgot that she had been intimate with Aden twice. She just thought about how good he was to her, how much he respected her privacy and how much she was going to miss just having him to talk to. She knew that he wouldn’t want anything to do with her when this was all over and she couldn’t blame him for that. She smiled at Casey and hugged him tightly in greeting. She knew it would be the last one she ever got from him and she wanted to savor the warmth from someone as sweet as him who took a chance on the train wreck like her.
“Hey Case.” She let go of him and took a seat on the bench. She knew that there was no easy way to do this and she knew that she should have done this when she was just developing feelings for Aden. That she was going to be the bitch who hurt someone as kind as Casey and it broke her completely to even have to admit that she did this to him.
“I have to tell you something.” She licked her lips and looked at the ground, knowing that this was like a band-aid and the longer she pulled this out the more painful it was going to be on both of them. That didn’t stop the tears from gathering in the corners of her eyes and it didn’t stop her from feeling guilty.
“I can’t be with you anymore. I can’t date you anymore.”
426 NOTES: *gross sobbing* !
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Aug 27, 2016 22:49:07 GMT
Post by Casey Jaimison Foster on Aug 27, 2016 22:49:07 GMT
So, she showed up and she didn't even seem that off. It was a breath of relief for him. He hugged her as well, though the hug, for him, was nothing special-- it was something that he appreciated, but he saw no reason for them to end. He saw no reason for any of it to end. He sat down when she did, giving her his full attention. Body language-- especially eye contact-- was always something he was good at. When you spoke to a Deaf person, it was important. When he spoke to Evan, it was important... and so he couldn't really figure out why she was looking at the ground.
I have to tell you something. And... that was the first moment he kind of felt it in his stomach. The words she chose... the tone... her eyes... they all pretty much said the words for her. He knew what was coming. He knew what it was and he still wasn't able to prepare himself for what came next. Before she confirmed his fears aloud, he was already rushing around in his head trying to figure out what he did wrong.
I can't be with you anymore. I can't date you anymore. He kind of stared for a second, in disbelief. He furrowed his eyebrows as he took it in, his tone evening out as he spoke. "Okay..." he said, hesitating as he thought of how to continue. "I don't get it... where is this coming from?" He respected her decision but it really blind sighted him.
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Sixteen.
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Aug 27, 2016 23:23:03 GMT
Post by Evangeline Maxine Charbonneau on Aug 27, 2016 23:23:03 GMT
[googlefont="Playfair Display"][googlefont="Alice"] he knows the dirty secrets that i keep does he know it's killing me?
He always gave her his complete attention, despite how jittery he usually was. Energy flowed off him like waves and while it used to fill her with energy and excitement for life, she was feeling suffocated under his kind gaze. He was someone who she loved, who she cared about deeply, who she was happy with, but she didn’t deserve to be with him if she was so conflicted about Aden. She could see that bright happiness flicker from his eyes and look just flat. She hated herself for the burning words on her tongue, but she knew that he deserved to know the truth. That she couldn’t pretend that things were okay between them ending. That he deserved to hate her for what she did. She was a hurricane, she left destruction in her wake and she knew that there would probably come a day where she sat down Aden on the same bench and told him that she was a disgusting human being just like she was going to with Casey.
She wiped her eye from the white-hot tear that was burning her and looked at him, hoping that he would understand. She had broken up with guys in the past. There were ones who would just walk away, ones that would grab her and yell, ones that would start sobbing. It was the most painful when they just looked at her, like he was trying to figure out exactly when she became the person who would do this to someone. She had been in his bed weeks before, she listened to him play his guitar and sing a silly song for her. She told him that she loved him when she got ready for Delilah and Aden’s birthday, and then that night she ended up in bed with the birthday boy.
“There’s someone else.” She admitted, knowing that if he was going to hate her, he deserved to have all of his questions answered. She didn’t want him to go mad thinking about everything that he could have done wrong for this. “Casey, you’re amazing and you’re the first good guy to ever like me. You’re the first man I’ve ever loved; I need you to know that. I loved you, that was real, but there is someone else and I” She felt sick even trying to form the word. It hurt her mouth it burned her tongue. Of the guys she dated, the ones who would try to hike up her skirt too soon or break buttons off her shirts before she was ready, she had never cheated on them. They would sneak around from their partners for her, they would lie to both of them about it, or Evan would pretend not to know. This was the universe getting back at her for the list of people who she helped get their hearts broken
“I cheated on you with him.”
522 NOTES: *gross sobbing* !
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Aug 31, 2016 16:19:36 GMT
Post by Casey Jaimison Foster on Aug 31, 2016 16:19:36 GMT
There's someone else. Okay... that made sense. And, hey, it happened. He glanced at her with furrowed eyebrows, nodding. "That's not your fault, Evan," he pointed out. If she had become attracted to someone else, it was good that she was telling him.
Casey would have been okay with it-- he would have been understanding. Sometimes, things just don't work out, and who was he to tell her that he was the best choice for her? The sooner she was honest about it, the sooner both of them could move on. That was what he had thought. It hurt that Evan was going to be with someone else, but she was allowed to do that.
What hurt more was that she had done it behind his back.
He wanted to disappear. He wanted to mold into his surroundings and not be there anymore. Of course, being Casey had never made it easy to blend in, and instead, his physical appearance was fluctuating. His coloring and shape was changing as he put his hands on his head, trying to get it under control. The words hit him like a truck. That he'd been cheated on... that she had actively gone and given her affection to someone else, while he could have been wondering where he was going to take her to eat the next day or what their plans were going to be. "Oh," was all he could manage to get out as his mind churned. It made him feel stupid... like he should have known she wasn't happy. He felt childish and naiive. "I don't want to be mad," he pointed out, his gaze fixed on the ground. "But... but you could have told me. I didn't think I was that hard to talk to." He liked to think he was a very approachable person, like being honest with him was easy.
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Sixteen.
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Post by Evangeline Maxine Charbonneau on Sept 9, 2016 8:32:55 GMT
[googlefont="Playfair Display"][googlefont="Alice"] he knows the dirty secrets that i keep does he know it's killing me?
His reassurance that this wasn’t her fault was like a shot to the gut. If she had told him about her attraction towards Aden in the first place she wouldn’t be in this mess. She wouldn’t know what it was like to look in his eyes and tell him that she had been intimate with another man while he waited for her text back. That she rolled around with Aden while he waited to dance with her at a party.
She should have known that he would have understood. That he would have been pained, but that he would want her to be happy. Their whole relationship all that he wanted was to see her happy. She felt the white hot tears sting her eyes when he said the simple oh and seemed like he was just going to turn into a ghost and fade from next to her. She didn’t want to wipe the tears, hoping that they would burn down her cheeks and scar her for life as a cheater.
That she would never be able to go another day without someone knowing that she hurt a truly pure person, and that maybe Aden would look at her and understand that she was more trouble than she was worth to be with.
She watched him look at the ground, his kind words slapping her in the face. She did love him. She loved when he would light up just seeing her, she loved how he wrapped her in his arms, she loved the hearts he drew on her coffee cup. “Casey, I’m so sorry.” She could only apologize to him over and over again and hope that it could put a Band-aid over the stab wound she lodged into his back. “I thought that my feelings for him would just go away, and when they didn’t, I didn’t know how to tell you.” She knew that she wasn’t making anything better. That she wasn’t going to be able to fix any of this with her words. That they wouldn’t be able to fix things and she wasn’t sure that she deserved to even be his friend after this.
“I could tell you about my fucked up family, about not being loved before you, but none of that would make up for how badly I hurt you and I have to live with that and I’m so sorry Casey.” She never talked about her family with him, usually just dodging the comments with the skill of hiding the truths of the Charbonneau family for years. She didn’t want to blame anything other than her shitty self for this.
480 NOTES: *gross sobbing* !
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